Alpaca Math

My Loving Spouse and I both have issues with spelling. However, we rock math. Alpaca math turned out to be a whole other subject.

We wanted 2 alpacas, so we got Benny and The Jett.

After Benny broke his leg in Dec. 2020.

We realized with alpacas 2 is a bad number. We need 3 alpacas, in case one becomes injured. We needed to get 1 more. (2+1=3)

Except…you cannot add 1 alpaca to 2. The ‘1’ will not be able to join the herd as they are a highly bonded kind of animal. The Extreme Alpaca people happened to have 3 little boys, they would sell us for the price of 2. (2+3=5)

Enter Carlos, Santana and Smooth…

Now we have 5 alpacas, instead of 3.

1 of them (Santana) makes the mistake more than once of spitting at My Loving Spouse. (I’m pretty sure this is why he was the ‘free’ one in the ‘buy 2, get 3’ offer.) We have a rule at Glory Farm. “If you’re not needed, you better be nice.”

4 alpacas would be fine, except again, 1 alpaca cannot go to a different herd successfully, even beautiful, but Spitty Santana.

Jett had become so protective of the herd, he began making it difficult to walk across the field. A good, but annoying trait.

We decide to re-home/sell Jett and Santana. They will be their own herd in their new field at someone else’s farm. It is difficult emotionally to re-home animals. As we prepare to separate the herd of 5, the 3 we are keeping move where we want them with ease. The 2 getting a ‘fresh start’ are both a complete pain, reinforcing our math. (5-2=3)

Santana & Jett’s new owners are enthusiastic young men! We feel confident of their ability to handle their new 2, what they lack in knowledge they will make up for with strength and good humor. As they drive off, my Loving Spouse mumbles a few British ‘blessings’ upon Santana.

We’ve now landed where we wanted to be…at 3.

Benny, (no Jett), Carlos (no Santana), and Smooth. Their cool Rock & Roll names don’t make sense anymore, but we’re okay with that.

…because they are nice and nice is important.

…and we are blessed.