Mother Daughter Banquet

May 8, 2014

The mother daughter church banquet was last night.  An annual affair with little girls all dressed up, older gals with flowers and a line of men to serve the meal and clean up.  It is a simply sweet meaningful event and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go…

It has been 8 years since my Mom passed away and I wonder, when you lose your Mom, when is it that you stop missing them.mompicmShe’d be amazed at so much that is our life here and I think of her every time I see a Heron or a Hawk or a Red Wing Black bird.  She was crazy about birds.  If she was here she would be having us keep a list of all the ones we’d seen.

She was an amazing seamstress, making her wedding dress was just the beginning…as she sewed us clothes, Halloween costumes and doll clothes for the PEO charity shop.  If she were here, she’d be sewing circles around me and my sweet fancy machine with her old metal reliable friend.mompicm01I continue to be amazed at how many of my new friends here who are my age still have their Moms…mompicm2Clearly it has been a long time since my chubby cheeked pig tail days…and just a blink of an eye from my children’s chubby cheeked days…mompicm3…and so I found myself not wanting to go to the banquet…because I do not have a Mom anymore…and I miss her still.

My friend asked me, if I was going…

“Hmmmm, well I don’t know…My Girl probably has to work….and I don’t have a mom.”

“Oh, you can share my mom and sit with us.”

“Really?  Okay, I’ll come” and that was it.

I started to look forward to it…a simple invitation to be a part of the family…and to be part of her family…really when we come down to it, isn’t that what life  is about?

What our true job is?

To offer to others an invitation to be part of the family.

Thanks my friend….

  • Nancy

    I love it. And being part of the expanding family. I am a member of the Wilburn’s. The family that said they could be my surrogate family when my son, Ben, and his family moved from Oregon to Colorado. Leaving me bereft. The Wilburn’s made such a difference. I regained the grandkids that moved so far away.

  • Kathleen Medez

    Dear Ellen, the loss of our mothers is a deep loss for sure. One that is never completely healed. Lately it seems I find my mom’s mannerisms occurring in me. She died long ago (1979) but I get a glimpse of her in me during certain moments as I am aging. Your photos show just how much you look like your mom. Amazing. I know she “grow’d you up good” because you are an incredible, loving, Godly woman. Happy Mother’s day to you.

    • Ellen

      Thank you Kathleen,
      Happy day to you as well for all the people you grace in our life! Me included

  • Diane Brown

    Once again your words are eloquent. What a lovely tribute to your mom for Mother’s Day. So glad you were able to go to the banquet and enjoy it. So thankful for the wonderful friends you have in Washington.

    • Ellen

      Thank you my friend, I continue to be thankful for you.

  • Amy

    You made me cry again Ellen, but that’s okay. It made my day to see my very beloved Aunt Betty in your photos- and remember once again how much I miss my own mom, and yours. But so grateful we had those two wonderful women in our lives. As for missing them; it doesn’t ever really go away. But I wouldn’t expect it too, and that’s really a very good thing. Mom’s as great as ours deserve that. Love you Ellen 🙂

    • Ellen

      Love you too Cousin…My Southern California Cousin!!

  • David

    Ellen, thank you for your meaningful words. I thought about my Mom who has been dead since before Mark was born (ten days before and for years it seemed as though something were missing…Momma never saw my Son.) The photos of your parents and of your family touched my heart. I consider myself and my wife and sons to be part of your family. Your photo of the young mother and her three left me with no question about who was whom. This was for me/us one of the better posts.
    David

    • Ellen

      Thank you David…you are family and so have a soft spot for Betty, I know.

  • Miriam

    Wonderful post, Ellen. Have a very Happy Mother’s Day!

    • Ellen

      Happy Mother’s Day to you too, Mims!

  • Liz Avila

    That was a beautiful post Ellen, and I loved all the old photos!

    • Ellen

      Thank you Liz!

  • Jacky Fausset

    Ellen, I lost my Mother about 5 years ago as well and miss her terribly.
    I sing an old Bill Monroe song ” You’ll Find Her Name Written There”, that gives expression to that grief and the hope I have of seeing her again in heaven.

    • Ellen

      And you will Jacky…

  • Sue and Gary

    Ellen, You got me all teary-eyed again! I will always miss my mom, and I can’t believe that she has been gone for 15 years. I miss your mom too, she was always my favorite aunt, and I still think of her a lot. I know I’ve told you this before, but after my mom passed away, visiting Aunt Betty was like being with a piece of my mom, and that made me love her even more. I felt closer to your mom then, than I ever did as a child. Because as an adult, I was lucky to really get to know her as a person. Our mom’s were very special people! So Happy Mother’s Day to you, and to our Mom’s! Love, Sue

    • Ellen

      Oh, Sue…and she loved your visits…I think it helped her with the loss of her sweet sister as well.

  • Bev Widney

    Ellen, what a beautiful tribute to your Mom and to your friend. Family and friends, is what life is all about. Happy Mother’s Day dear Ellen.

    • Ellen

      Thank you Bev!
      Happy Mother’s Day to you to sweet friend.

  • Heather Flatley

    Such a great post. I don’t think we ever stop missing the people who have left us. But I have found it to be an interesting journey, as your post attests, after someone passes you come to learn about yourself, about them (I found letters, spoke to relatives about Dad, so amazing), about life, about how to cope, still, after all these years. And it can be OK, you can and will miss them forever but be at peace too.

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