Ya, But

I am struggling to find the words to explain the last 6 months. I have had this post rattling around in my head for weeks. I have tried to not write it, but at the end of the day, who is this blog really for? I don’t know. Someday these words may be the way my grandchildren or grandchildren’s children know me. Obviously, they will know I’ve made some mistakes (remember, the Fire Captain said it wasn’t my fault I caught that field on fire), but will they know that my most important job is to ‘love’.

When we moved to Ellensburg, we quickly found our church home. We love the congregation, a collection of caring/giving (jump in and help) kind of people. They put their love in action. We care about them and are grateful they are our friends.

Six months ago, we started hearing a message from the ‘top’, from the Pastor…one that said, that Homosexuals were less than… I quite literally could not believe my ears…and it broke my heart.

My dear Grandkids…this is what I believe… Jesus said, the most important commandments are Love God, Love Your Neighbor and Love Yourself.

I talked with trusted and wise friends who belonged to our church. I felt fairly powerless, so I bought a dozen copies of Everybody, Always (Becoming love in a world full of difficult people and setbacks) and started giving them away.

I emailed the Pastor multiple times in regards to his stance, hoping and searching for elements of love and grace. Each answer held not only less love, but more judgement and said in ways, that was quite clear he wanted us to leave.

There is no ‘Ya, but’ in ‘love your neighbor’. We are to love those who annoy us, who vote for the other party, who are unkind to our kids or cheat us etc. Many believe that Gay people are sinners, well look in the mirror, we all are sinners and ‘have fallen short’. The problem with being judgmental over any others is that most people then say, ‘Ya, but….you are…” and judge your sins as well.

Love is usually not talk, it is action. Guess what, that included this Pastor. I didn’t want to ‘love him’, I wanted to say, “Ya, but he doesn’t…” I needed to ‘walk my talk’, so, as we have for many years, we offered to let him store his trailer in our barn during the winter. I inquired how I could pray for him (and I actually do it).

Recently, sadly and with great grief, we knew had to leave our beloved church, because as much as we wanted to stay with these loving people, we did not feel comfortable being aligned with the beliefs from the top. How do we leave gracefully? Leaving is hard. Will we loose some friends? We do not know…

Where will we go? Will there be another place for us? We are both weary and sad. I do believe that when our time ‘comes’, we might be asked how well we loved, I do not believe we will be asked did you judge each other enough?

..and still we are blessed.