Welding Blind

Our latest travelers from ‘across the pond’,  long time friends (see how I didn’t say ‘old’) of My Loving Spouse came to the farm ‘on holiday’, which is what the English call a ‘vacation’.  Both chefs, the Chief Chef having taught catering for years, (yes, he has cooked for the queen) and his better half a Mighty Chef in her own right, just a wee bit younger and a wee bit shorter.

It is interesting having chefs as guests.  These two are so worried that they will be a burden, that they insist on cooking fabulous meals for us.  (Yes, I know, it is a rough life…)  However, with the combination of the language barrier (English/American)…did you know coriander is cilantro?  or courgette is just, sigh…zucchini….and my food allergies…after a few days I found myself waking up ill each morning and begging My Loving Spouse, “Please no more fancy meals”.  So he kicked the chefs out of the kitchen and insisted that they relax and enjoy their ‘holiday’.  We didn’t cut them off of farm ‘life’ completely, we assisted them in their relaxation by letting them run the ride on lawn mower, work Jubal through the pasture, watch the puppy, ride the horses and talk to the cow.  The Chief Chef worries about Elsie Gump and her bad leg, which is quite amusing, that as a Chef he’s cooked a lot of her kin-folk.

And… I offered an afternoon of welding!  Well, really, anybody can go ‘on holiday’ and get a mani-pedi.  But, not everyone can go ‘on holiday’ and do welding, unless you come here and as long as you don’t really care who teaches you to weld.

The Mighty Chef couldn’t wait to go and weld something.  I happily shared my treasure trove of ‘good junk‘ with her and she dove into building and welding her very own scare-crow.  (Truly it was the blind leading the blind, and now I really, really understand that saying.)  I don’t think the Mighty Chef had any idea how much I do not know about welding, but since I’d welded once more than she had and knew how to turn on the welder, I was the ‘expert’.  It did help, that I had My Loving Spouse on speed dial.  I explained to my welding chef…welding is just like working a frosting bag, except it can burn you and you really can’t see…otherwise, it is just the same.

I was a great hostess, sharing all the cool tools with her… grinder, vise, miss-matched gloves…

We had a few set backs when the spring hair curls wouldn’t stay on, we burned a hole in one of the eyes and the mouth kept falling off. We changed design and kept on welding, kind of blind, but welding just the same.

The rain came and the mouth fell off again…  In the end, we’d managed to attach arms, put on a new mouth and considering I was the teacher, I was pretty amazed that any of it had worked.  The welding student was both proud and realistic, and she said in her very proper British accent…”I don’t think I should quit my day job.”