Royal Mail

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Dear Madam,

Could you please check on your postal service?  I realize that you are probably a tad busy, however, do you have any idea how hard it is for My Loving Spouse to keep a surprise a secret?  I mean seriously, it has BEEN KILLING HIM!

I know you are aware of the excitement and joy when a new grand baby is coming.  I wanted to send my Sister-in-law a little something special, for when her newest grand baby comes to her house, so I made her a Grannie quilt.  Quilts are an American art form.  We take old fabric scraps or even perfectly good fabric, cut it up, sew it back together and it is…even better.My Loving Spouse has been barely able to contain himself.  He has so wanted to tell his sister of this surprise.  He often asked if he could tell her, but still I kept him sworn to secrecy.  You see, I wanted to surprise her.  We knew the baby was coming…and we didn’t know what the sex would be…you English are so much more patient than we are, well, except for My Loving Spouse.  I would have even gotten it to them before the baby came, if she hadn’t (yes, ‘she’ isn’t that lovely…a girl) come 4 weeks early AND IF YOUR POSTAL SERVICE COULD HAVE KEPT A SECRET!

Madam, I paid a TON of money to ship one box to England.  I filled out the customs form…

1. Quilt

1. bag of Reese’s mini-peanut butter cups (No, you cannot get them across the pond, you should try them…they are small and sweet, I’m sure you’ll love them as much as my Sister-in-law does)

1. Mother Goose Nursery Rhyme book, because this is what my mother always liked to give new parents, so I kept her tradition going, now I know you know something about tradition.

I was eager for their surprise…I’d even managed to keep My Loving Spouse from spilling the beans for months…and then HRH Postal Service ruined it!  They inquired of my Sister-in-law…was she expecting a parcel from us and if so what was in it?

Seriously?!

…and so… My Loving Spouse got to tell her…that yes, we’d sent a parcel and it was a quilt…a Grannie quilt.

Now Madam, from one Grandma to another…really?  Could you please get your postal service to clean up their act and keep a secret for a change!

Thank you ever so much,

PS: I am sorry that the last picture is fuzzy, but I think you get the idea.

PPS:  Good luck with your soon to be Great Grand Child…would you like a quilt?

PPPS:  I realize that it is tradition that I close this letter with..

I have the honor to be, Madam, Your Majesty’s humble and obedient servant.

…but I am just a bit too American to say that…so I will end by wishing you well.