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Roosters

I love roosters.  As home decor they have been a part of my decorating style for years.  I have a rooster clock, an iron rooster door stop, a rooster door mat, a fruit bowl with a rooster on the side, a rooster ‘statue’ that doesn’t do anything, but look ‘rooster-ish’.  I was delighted to move into our wonderful old home and find a brass rooster wall art-hook that we don’t really hang anything on as it is up too high, but we have learned to not lean back on that wall or the sharp beak will get you in the head.  You can have a lot of roosters inside.

Our roosters outside are pretty birds.  Dumb, but pretty.  As our Friend the Farmer says, you don’t get to the bottom of food chain by being smart.  Our collection of roosters eat a lot and they poop a lot and I mean a LOT.  City friends, let me tell you, the next time some awful person tries to insult you by saying anything about… sorry here, but I’ve got to use this word… shit you need to find out what kind.  If for instance some one says you are ‘full of sh@!, well do they mean horse or chicken?  Horse  is not too bad, big piles but horse doesn’t even smell too bad and it dries out quickly.  Chicken/rooster  is awful, runny piles of sh@ and when you have ‘free range roosters’, you have it, sh@! in lots of places.  So, if you are being insulted and called ‘chicken sh@!’, the insult-er is either really mad at you or just doesn’t know their sh@!.

Our outside roosters are “Surplus to requirement”, which we know is British for ‘too darn many’.  As it has been determined, that the Teen and I are not quite adapted to country life enough yet to actually eat our roosters, we’ve more roosters than My Loving Spouse can consume.  In an effort to cut down on both the amount of chicken meal we’re providing and the amount of chicken sh@! we’re dealing with, we’ve been trying to lessen the flock by attempting to sell, barter, or plain give away some birds.  Luckily, for us our neighbors are deep-rooted country folks and would be happy to take a few.  My Loving Spouse was on the phone handling the fine details, “How do you want them?  Dead or Alive?”

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