With My Loving Spouse My Patient reasonably comfortable (pain meds in full force) and not needing anything at the moment, I decided to finish painting the vegetable garden fence. All in all there was only half of it that needed painting and with a sponge roller, I should be able to finish it off simply and easily, attending to My Patient as necessary.
“If you are okay, I am going out to paint the fence.”
“Oh, Sweetie, why don’t you use my new paint sprayer? You will love it and you’ll be done in no time.”
“Hmmm, I don’t think so…” I said, “I’ve never used one and it might be better if I used it when you are up and able to help me, I’ll just roll the paint.”
“It is really easy and you will be back in here with a Cheshire Cat grin on your face in minutes!”
“I don’t know…”
“You can do it, it is simple”, said The Patient currently hallucinating on pain medication.
So out I went to read the directions, to the Fabulous-It-Will-Be-Easy-Paint-Sprayer. The directions came in a variety of languages:
Spanish and English For The Tool Savvy. There were no directions written in what I needed, which was English For The Non Tool Savvy. 
Sometimes I do not read directions… However, this time I read them and re-read them and then read them again. I probably read those instructions 10 times. They were not complete and left out all kinds of stuff…like what was this thing?
I could only assume it was a cup holder or a holder for the spray gun thing, but still I did not know where it went. I read the instructions again and briefly thought about trying to read them in Spanish as well, after all ‘I will love it and be done in no time’.
At the end of the English For The Tool Savy Instructions it said,
“Now put the intake hose and the return hose in the paint and paint”, so that is what I did. Whereby the ‘I will love it’ Paint Sprayer spewed one gallon of paint onto 20 pickets in a thick gooey mess in about 5 minutes. Spraying me and everything else within reach… I did-NOT-love-it….at all.
The Patient (A Tool Savvy Man) could hear the sprayer and had hobbled out on his walker (a major fete).
“Didn’t you hear it?”
“Uhmmmm….yes”, I said sort of tensely, flinging my speckled glasses across the yard.
“Well, it shouldn’t have sounded like that.”
Really…
Back I went to the hardware store to get another gallon of paint, in all my paint speckledness. I was helped again by the same man who sold me the last gallon of paint. I might have told him, I wasn’t too keen on our new paint sprayer and he (who was not hallucinating on pain medication) said, “Oh, those don’t get easy until you’ve used them about 10 times”.
You would believe a salesman or patient on pain pills? Silly, silly girl….I still think you are one a million!
Thank you Don…I should have remembered that I was bound to have some help from Murphy (law)!
I swear this could be a sitcom.:)
But who do we get to play me???
I am hoping it went well enough that you don’t have to do it again. Um, er, I did notice that you did not include an “after” picture of the fence.
Oh, those 20 pickets were well covered, so are some of my veggies.