New Life Old Farmers

At six weeks old, the pups were off to the vet.  This required one strong laundry basket and one strong son to help me.  Number Two Son and I loaded them up and hauled them in.  Our basket of cuteness turned every head at the vet.Each pup was given a thorough check up, shots and pronounced healthy and adorable.  Zoe had fed them well.  Teaching them to eat kibble was no challenge, they are Labrador, born to eat.  We began feeding them out of my Mother’s 12 count muffin tin.  I can only imagine what Mom would have thought about that!  However, this did prevent the more enthusiastic eaters from standing in the middle of the food tray.The Vet declared them fit and able to leave their Mama.  Over the next 2 weeks the new parents delightedly picked up their pups.

When the last pup left, Zoe and Snickers were bought a new dog bed and large rawhide bones.  I am biased, I think Labs are the best dogs.  I had begun to think of the pups as belonging to their new owners and worried that something might happen to them, so it was actually a relief to have them move to their owners.  There are 8 new happy Lab homes…and I am blessed.

When I said we could take the kids for a few weeks, I had no idea the ultimate cost.  I had this very small vision, which showed Z being able to go to 5th grade camp, 5th grade activities and finishing the year at school with the rest of the class.  As chaos ensued, I often thought…

‘What have I done?  What was I thinking?’

We were a buffer, a step from Mom to foster care…but was a buffer enough?

Z became happier and Mr. T thrived…  His daily growth amazed us.  Mr. T’s verbal skills caught up nearly 5 months worth of growth in 32 days.  It was astounding…and it was exhausting.  My Loving Spouse did his best, but he was gone for work, most of the days and nights of the last month.  The chores were barely done, the horses were never ridden and the chickens decided to hang out on the porch and poop.  I knew I could not keep it up.  

The loving quilts our quilting group makes for new foster children takes on a whole new meaning for me now.

With a kiss on their head each night, I put them to bed covered with their new quilts.

The concern was that the kids would be split up and sent to other towns.  The absence of available homes here able to take two kids with such different ages was the reality.  What then…would they think we’d failed them.  Would we even be able to continue to see them?  I was too tired to continue much longer.   My Loving Spouse tried to come up with possibilities.

“What about our friends Auntie A & Uncle F?  Weren’t they going to become foster parents?”

‘They would be perfect, but I haven’t heard them mention it in a few years’, I said with a sigh.

 “I am afraid the kids will think we’ve kicked them to the curb.”

‘But…I cannot keep it up…’, I sobbed.

The day came where I had to meet with the ‘officials’ and give them my drop dead date.  I scheduled the meeting for my lunch hour at school, knowing I had to be clear.  If the kids were split up, perhaps our respite care would be the tool that kept them in touch…

Twenty minutes prior to my meeting, Auntie A came to me at school.  They had sat in the pew in front of us the first Sunday we had the kids in church with us.

“Can I talk to you about the kids?”

‘What!’

“We are a few weeks away from getting our Foster Care license…can you tell me about the kids.”

“There is no place for them and they might very well be split up…they need you so much!”  

After each question, I answered for Auntie A, she would say…”That is just what we want!”

I could not imagine a sweeter fit, or a better family for these two.  They will thrive beyond all measure.

‘I am meeting with the ‘officials’ in 20 minutes, can you sit in….’

I had been too tired to pray.  Does God see our actions as the cries from our hearts?

In order to make the transition work, it meant my keeping the kids longer…would I do it?  Of course, if it meant that they would go to Auntie A and her family.  Unbeknownst to the kids, the real reason why, we began spending time with Auntie A and her family.  A smooth and loving transition was our goal…

The kids are happy and secure, as their ‘family’ grows.  Moving to live with Auntie A and Uncle F, they are loved by us all.  We will return to being surrogate Grandparents.

Having the kids might have been one of the harder things I have done.  Worth it?  No question!  As Number Two Son said, “Mom, you’ve gone from being a buffer to a bridge for them to a new life.”God is good…and I am blessed.

Number Three Son was graduating from high school in Utah.  The end of high school for Team Offspring!  It seemed to me, that a graduation quilt was in order.  Starting the quilt was easy.  I had a Moda JellyRoll in my stash.  (For those of you who do not speak ‘quilting’ Moda is a very nice line of fabric.  JellyRoll is a packaging of like fabrics pre-cut into strips.  Stash is a quilter’s fabric pile, usually seen by the quilter as not really enough and often seen by the quilter’s family as ‘what in the world will they ever do with all this fabric’).Black, red and grays went together fairly quickly into a long skinny quilt, a good fit for Number Three Son.  I used a cozy gray flannel for the backing.  I quilted it prior to the week of his graduation as Dear John’s Wife was here and I thought she’d like to see the long arm quilter in action, which she did!I had an emergency quilting situation arise, when I realized that the plan for the binding would not work.  It was late on Friday and My Loving Spouse was set to fly out the following Tuesday for the graduation and to deliver the Graduation Quilt.  We have a small, but delightful quilting store, The Purple Door, here off a country road.  They are technically not open on Friday, but they will open for an emergency.  Their store is on the other side of their garage, so if they will help you out if they can.  The Purple Door recognized an emergency when they heard one.  No binding fabric for a Graduation Quilt that needed to be done immediately.  They could open for us as soon as they’d gotten back from town where they went to buy chicken food.The red-spotted fabric was a perfect finish.  The only other mistake I made, was to not take Dear John’s Wife up on her offer to work on binding the quilt.  If I had, I would not have been up until midnight of the first night we got the kids, so My Loving Spouse could take off for Utah in the morning.

Still, I did get it done.  It did get delivered and My Loving Spouse told me, that Number Three liked it.

Graduation quilts done!  Well….maybe…until Number Two Son graduates from CWU next year…

Finding time to write on the blog, is a tad tricky right now that the kids are here.  However, they are both asleep…or at least they are both safe in their beds and are quiet, which quite frankly is all I care about.  My Loving Spouse is not only home, but he poured me wine!  Life is good.  I figure I have at least 20 minutes before I cannot keep my eyes open another second.

Just prior to the kids coming, Number Two Son helped me tackle updating the living room wall.  The wall was almost a blank canvas and it was driving me crazy.  We pulled out a collection of family pictures and a few mementos and got to work.  I measured the wall and then put a sheet on the ground the same size as the wall.  We used the sheet space to arrange and rearrange the items we planned to hang.  Let me tell you, this works so much better than my other way, which is to drill hole after hole in the wall as I realize I want to move pictures around a bit.  Every time I see this wall now I smile.  I wouldn’t change a thing, well…I would next time find a hammer, because actually trying to hammer with the butt end of the drill is not really all that easy, but as you can see, it does work.

A friend made a comment the other day about how “I always get stuff done”.  All I can say is….hahahahaha…oh, sweet Peggy you just haven’t been here yet.  Here’s to eliminating that illusion, do you like my garage?Would you like a close up?Sometimes I get things done…like the wall.

Sometimes I shut the garage door, so I do not have to see the mess.

With the kids here, I am getting very little done toward the restoration of Glory Farm.  Truthfully, I am quite worn out.  However, I do know that Glory Farm is doing her part toward the restoration of two little souls…and I am blessed.

I hope someday to remember this time with…warm feelings for a job well done…our gift of time/support/love/routine to 2 children who needed us.  

However, here is the ugly Monday evening truth.  My Loving Spouse is gone for work (again).  Number Two Son is at rehearsal.  Mr. T. is screaming his lungs out, totally pissed off to be put to bed.  Z is watching a mind-numbing Disney Channel sit-com and all I can hope for is that I too, do not start screaming out loud.  

The puppies are fed, after all 8 were biting my sandaled toes, while the toddler in my arms started screaming as well, deciding that he did NOT want to ‘see da puppies!’  The pups are cutest from a distance…sometimes even their Mama Zoe thinks so….and I feel her pain.

The kitchen is ‘clean’ for the nano-second it will take before Z wants ice cream, which is all just a ploy to not go to bed, after all bedtimes in her world used to be optional.  I am rooting (insisting) for bedtime to come…and to come soon!  There will be a glass of wine waiting for me and quiet, oh, I can only hope!  The quiet might be optional, but at least I have control over the glass of wine.  

I’ve started both of the last two mornings with a toddler throwing up on me and I gotta tell you, I do not miss this phase.

I am calm on the outside, kind, loving and consistent.  The truth is that this situation is taking a toll on me.  I will be taking care of these two for a few more weeks…then I will replenish and refill.  Hopefully, for the rest of this summer I’ll not be using the Christmas bath towels, because they are the only ones that are clean!

I am ready for a drama-free, boring summer.

Who knows I might even have time to give away some of the shit/poop/manure around here…but I barely even know these people, so maybe I will only share my poop with those I know….like you.…yes, I am blessed…pooped, not poop, but blessed.

Finding a quiet moment now is a bit rare.  Who knew at my age, I’d be so excited for nap time once again!  Having a toddler on the farm is equally exhausting and amusing.  Farm tantrum…watch out for the chicken poop.Mr. T loves balls and has not yet learned that much of what lies on the ground here should not be thrown…rocks and  horse poop are at the top of the list.

My Girl and Number Two Son have stepped up to this challenge.  Offering aid, amusement and a sympathetic ear.  Being in charge of a toddler is an incredible life lesson and neither big kid has any plans now to become a parent for a very long time.  Number Two Son was woken up bright and early on Saturday morning, a 2-year-old dumped on his bed, the cause…the cows were out!  Z went on her first cow wrangle as Our Friend the Farmer, My Loving Spouse and the State Patrol lent their hands.  This was the first time I cried…completely overwhelmed…emotional tank on empty.

We’ve done the hard work to apply a bed time to a little boy who has never had one.  We’ve been consistent.  His anger at being put to bed and his screaming bouts have gone from 70 minutes, to 40 minutes, to 20 minutes, to 8 minutes, to half a holler.  We have a happy boy each morning.

We read and play and talk to this little man a LOT!  In a week, his vocabulary goes from 15 words to 45 and he is talking in sentences…actually, ordering us about in sentences, but for a severely language delayed child, we rejoice.  He recognizes in us the people who read to him and he hollers,

“Read a book!!!”, when trying to convince us not to put him to bed.

Our other favorite sentence is,

“See da puppies!”This morning he learns the word…’please’.

I fall in love with My Loving Spouse even more when he lets me sip coffee and handles the first diaper of the day, then Mr. T is deposited to me for a snuggle, waking up, juice and reading a book.

We try to cram a lot of life’s best lessons into a very short time.  Z earns her own money by working, helping to mow the lawns.  It was my understanding that Z was a staunch Lutheran, and our sweet church is Presbyterian.   I looked up the difference and was prepared to have a deep theological discussion, so that she could be comfortable in our church.  Z looked at me and said,

“If you want to take me to church, I really don’t care.  I’ll just color.  When I go to church I usually just do this…”  She then gave the slack-jawed, blank eyed expression of one who tunes out completely.

“Okay, I said.  “We’re going to church, bring your coloring book.  Oh, and the good thing about Presbyterians is that they almost always have cookies.”

So, we went to church and that is where the tears really came again.  It is always hard for me to hide how overwhelmed I am in church.  If you have a ‘need’, you cannot be in a better place than our sweet church.  Toddler books and cars are dropped off, with phone numbers and dates that babysitting can be done.  People offer to make us dinner and then say, “What is your name?”.  My Loving Spouse’s work takes him away for many dinners, so this is a blessing beyond belief.  My friend who knows me best might/maybe even have dropped off a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine!

On the one hand, we keep moving through the days, the laundry is never done, the house is dirtier than usual, someone poops his diapers more than any other toddler on the face of the earth and I’ve changed them all, this is when My Loving Spouse falls in love with me even more.  Mr. T’s pajamas pick up lots of dog hair & dust, I just wish he’d get into the corners more often.

When bored Z ‘plays’ the piano, so this house is seldom quiet.  The adults who live here are doing their best…with love…tag teaming…encouragement of one another and love for what each is willing and trying to do in a situation we were not really prepared for…and when just trying our best is truly enough.

I know we are blessed…exhausted and overwhelmed, but blessed.

Sometimes I write to amuse.  Sometimes I write to record events.  Sometimes I write to reflect.  Sometimes I write because I need make sense of the turmoil in my head or rather my heart.  It is early morning.  My head hurts.  I am drinking my coffee and there is someone else’s child sleeping in the next room.

It was determined that Mr. T and Z needed to be removed from their home late Monday.  We love them.  We are not set up to care for them, but…

Z is a 5th grader.  All of the special 5th grade events were starting the next morning.  They were leaving for 5th grade camp.  They are to go to the Mariner’s baseball game.  She has talked of nothing else for 6 months.  If they moved her, she’d be in another school…lose her home…and everything else…

We agreed to help…for a short time, but somewhere along the way…it was seen as a long time.  A longer time than we can do…

I ask for your prayers…for them…that their next ‘home’ is one that is a great fit for them…that all these steps in their lives lead to better things.

My fear is that my human inability to be all that they need, not detract from the love we have for them and all we have tried to give them.

It is hard to say…’I cannot do it”, but therein lies the truth.

I may not have completely lost my sense of humor…here is a farm ‘play pen’.  Keeps the small child contained and happy.My farm stroller……there is one that loves them more than I and that is their true provider…

I want them to be blessed.

The Half (Done) Attic Bathroom got a huge boost this week!  Dear John, Dear John’s Wife and Turk the City Dog spent a week here ‘camping’ in their Scamp trailer.  This is our family.  Dear John, I call my brother.  My parents gave me a brother John and when Number One Son married Number One Wife, they gave me another John.  They are both great wood workers, one big difference is that Dear John likes to visit us and….

…he likes to do ‘little projects’ when he comes, so we do our best to keep him happy.  Under Dear John’s hands, the attic bathroom has made significant progress.   Having doors instead of gaping holes, makes the bathroom look like a real room!  We’re elated with the linen closet and the new door matches exactly that of two others in the house.Complete with cedar shelves…The secret bookcase is a work of art!Perfect for storing suitcases or Christmas boxes…certainly to be the best future hiding place for Glory Farm Hide and Seek games!  My Loving Spouse gets the credit for this great idea.  Dear John’s cabinetry skills made the idea come to fruition and we are delighted.

Friends that become family…accepting us as we are…

who share in the process of restoring this wonderful old home and add to our story…

Well, we are certainly blessed.

Sometimes I take on large tasks (like this house).  Usually, I have no idea at all of what I have gotten myself into! Perhaps, I see the end of the journey and not the steps/stress to get to the goal.  I had a dream or God gave me the dream…of taking 100 kids on a field trip to see Mary Poppins the musical.  I have never organized a field trip…how hard could it be?

Many of you made the field trip possible as you sent in donations.  Blessing our kids…in case you are wondering…you’ve touched their lives…and their eyes light up whenever the musical is mentioned.  You trusted me and believed in the dream.

The easy way would have been to:

1. Take fewer kids
2. Take a total classes
3. Not worry about how they were dressed

I did not want to do it the easy way.  I wanted to touch the lives of those kids…who needed to go.  Those who may never have gotten this chance otherwise.  I wanted to bring those kids that struggle and those kids that are quiet and do not always shine out in good or bad ways.  100 3rd, 4th & 5th graders pulled from 9 different classes.  I could not do it alone.  My team at school saw and supported the ‘vision’.  Was it easy?  No.  Did everyone think I was doing ‘it’ right?  No.  One teacher was difficult.  She did not feel one student ‘deserved’ to go.  Let me tell you, she was right.  He did not ‘deserve’ to go, but my dream was not about ‘deserving’.  My dream was about a gift.  Grace.  This teacher sucked the wind out of my sails.

Some of our kids live in trailers.  Some of our kids do not have two parents.  Some of our kids do not have lots of food in the house.  Some of our kids come to school dirty.  Most of our kids have never, seen anything like this amazing play!  It was…’practically perfect’!

When a large part of your student body has a free or reduced lunch, you can not just tell kids to bring a lunch from home.  Lunches have to be ordered, except the kids do not like the school bagged lunch, so some of them will find a way to bring a lunch from home…except…the lunch ordering needs to be done a week in advance… 100 kids to ask about lunch next week?

I didn’t want to make extra work for anybody else at school…but I did.  Unfortunately, a lot of extra work…I might owe them a few martini’s (off school grounds of course).

I wanted to raise the bar for our kids.  “We dress nicely when we go to the theater”, I told them, “We come to school with clean hair and we look our best.  This is special and it shows respect to the actors who have worked so hard on this performance”.  I knew when you dress up kids, they act differently.  I knew when you dress up kids, people respond to them differently.  I knew when you dress up kids and they receive positive responses it is a win-win.  I wanted to make this special in all ways.Can you tell which kids have little?  Do you like our flower boutonnieres that My Librarian made to show which group each child was in…after all we were getting ‘dressed’ for the play.  She only had to make…110.The morning we left…two teachers took it upon themselves with peanut butter and bread to make sandwiches for those kids who forgot their lunches.  A parent was at the store buying shirts and ties for boys who had nothing…good work can be done alone…great work takes a team…Waiting for a show that started late…100 excited kids.  10 chaperones…and my hopes.The show ended late, we missed the buses when we got back to school.  I made a lot more work for a lot of people, teachers who stayed to call parents.  Phone calls and chaos…  Was it easy?  No.  Was it worth it?

Just mention the play to our kids…

their eyes lite up,

they smile and that’ll tell you…that it was awesome.

We are blessed to be a blessing.

Thank you for blessing them.