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Turmoil and Truth

Sometimes I write to amuse.  Sometimes I write to record events.  Sometimes I write to reflect.  Sometimes I write because I need make sense of the turmoil in my head or rather my heart.  It is early morning.  My head hurts.  I am drinking my coffee and there is someone else’s child sleeping in the next room.

It was determined that Mr. T and Z needed to be removed from their home late Monday.  We love them.  We are not set up to care for them, but…

Z is a 5th grader.  All of the special 5th grade events were starting the next morning.  They were leaving for 5th grade camp.  They are to go to the Mariner’s baseball game.  She has talked of nothing else for 6 months.  If they moved her, she’d be in another school…lose her home…and everything else…

We agreed to help…for a short time, but somewhere along the way…it was seen as a long time.  A longer time than we can do…

I ask for your prayers…for them…that their next ‘home’ is one that is a great fit for them…that all these steps in their lives lead to better things.

My fear is that my human inability to be all that they need, not detract from the love we have for them and all we have tried to give them.

It is hard to say…’I cannot do it”, but therein lies the truth.

I may not have completely lost my sense of humor…here is a farm ‘play pen’.  Keeps the small child contained and happy.farm play penMy farm stroller…farm stroller…there is one that loves them more than I and that is their true provider…

I want them to be blessed.

{ 10 comments… add one }
  • Diane May 29, 2016, 9:23 pm

    Wow! How difficult. I am so glad that you have been able to give them so much but that you also are able to protect your boundaries. God will use all you have done to continue the good work. Blessings.

    • Ellen Walton May 30, 2016, 9:13 am

      I love your words. Thank you…I pray that…he will continue this good work!
      Thank you!

  • Miriam May 25, 2016, 3:39 pm

    I’ll be thinking of you and Mr. T and Z and hoping that a forever home is made available to them. You are so sweet to have them for this time and allow Z to participate in her 5th grade activities. She will remember your kindness and love always. Mr. T will remember the wheelbarrow rides!

    • Ellen Walton May 25, 2016, 3:57 pm

      I hope you are right, I worry that Z may feel we abandoned them, by not being able to make this their home.

      • Miriam May 26, 2016, 4:13 pm

        You can only do so much. It’s good that you know your limitations. Maybe you can still see Z once in a while if they are placed close by?

        • Ellen Walton May 27, 2016, 9:55 am

          That is the hope that we will still have them once a week .

  • John May 25, 2016, 2:20 pm

    You and the young ones have been on my heart all day and we’ll continue to pray for all of you. Hugs.

    • Ellen Walton May 25, 2016, 3:55 pm

      Thanks Dear John!
      Now that you know them, you know how hard this all is…

  • Christa Peitzman May 25, 2016, 10:44 am

    Oh friend I have been down that exact path, as you know. Do your best but know your limits! Any love they are given by you IS going to make a huge difference in their lives overall!!!! Take care of yourself! The shoes you are in right now are big and burdensome but oh so powerful!!!
    Much love and a gin and tonic in your honor tonight!!!!

    • Ellen Walton May 25, 2016, 4:02 pm

      I KNOW you understand. Accepting our limits seems to be the biggest hurdle. Thank you for your words and support!

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